So… You’ve met this new guy or girl. You’ve been talking for a while and all of a sudden they drop into conversation that they ‘vape’. You know nothing about it being either a smoker or a non-smoker, and you’re not entirely sure what it all means. You’re not really sure what to expect when you date a vaper.
Well, these are the 7 things you should know about dating a vaper!
1 – You’re probably dating an ex-smoker.
That’s right! If you’re dating a vaper, there’s a good chance they were once a smoker. There are so many stories in the media about vaping making smoking look cool and encouraging people to use electronic cigarettes who never smoked before but honestly, I don’t think I know a single vaper who wasn’t a smoker beforehand.
If you smoke and you start dating a vaper, don’t be surprised if the vaper starts asking you if you want to try their electronic cigarette or vaporiser. It’ll annoy the hell out of you at first but they do have a point – if they managed to quit smoking, you could manage it too.
Think about it – more money in your bank at the end of the month, you can breathe better, you’ll have more energy, you won’t smell like an ashtray and neither will your home…
There’s a lot to be said for vaping rather than smoking but I won’t bore you with those details now. You can read more about that here:
For now all I will say is that we vapers, we don’t mean to bug you with our vaping habit. We just used to smoke and now we don’t. We’ve come over to the ‘dark side’ and we know you’ll be happier for making the switch too…
2 – There’ll be e-cigarette paraphernalia EVERYWHERE
I have batteries on my bedside cabinet, spare tanks on my desk, bottles of eliquid in every handbag, in the car, in the kitchen on top of the fridge…
I have a massive box full of electronic cigarette and vaporiser “stuff” but still there’s plenty dotted around too. If you start dating a vaper you’ll probably find they’ll have random bits and pieces everywhere, and a big box or drawer of stuff too!
And if they lose a bit, hell will break lose. This brings me quite nicely to my next point!
3 – Losing your favourite electronic cigarette is the worst thing in the world
Let me set the scene… I had been using the Smoko V-Style Vaporiser for about three months and I was pretty much obsessed with it. It had a very impressive battery life for something so slimline, and it was super discreet too. I liked the way it vaped a lot and it soon became my every day favourite.
That was, until, I left it at a friend’s house after a particularly drunken party. I didn’t know I’d left it there until a few weeks later when they found it under their couch but I went into serious mourning for that vaporiser. It was my favourite and had been for a while. I’m quite picky about the e-cigs I use so when I fall in love with one, I find it hard to say goodbye.
If you date a vaper you’ll need to be prepared for a very serious meltdown if and when they lose / think they have lost their favourite e-cig. Cushions will be ripped from the couch and every item of furniture must be looked under. You’ll need to retrace every step you took until the last point the vaper remembers having their trust device and if you can’t find it, meltdown will commence.
You know how you get when you forget your cigarettes and there’s not a shop for miles around? Yeah, that’s how a vaper gets when they lose or forget their electronic cigarette. It’s kind of a big deal.
4 – They’ll cancel their date for #VapeMail days
“Hi, yeah, I’m going to be late. I need to wait for the postman. I’ve got e-juice coming!”
“Sorry, I can’t come today. The postman hasn’t been yet and I’m going to run out of e-liquid soon.”
You’ll hear this at least once during your relationship with a vaper. I’m a nightmare for it. I have a favourite e-liquid and if I run out, no other e-liquid will do. I’ll make do with the crappy, old, half-finished bottles of e-liquid I have around or I might even use that awful flavour I accidentally bought a few weeks back but honestly, my life won’t be perfect again until I have my favourite e-liquid once more.
If it’s #VapeMail day, I’ll be waiting by the door.
5 – Charging WAR
You know that spare plug socket you have next to the bed which you always plug your phone in to? Well, you better be prepared to give that up. You’d also best have a USB plug spare somewhere too. A vaper will need to charge their equipment especially if they’re staying the night.
Running out of e-power is just as bad as losing your favourite e-cig. The flashes of a dead battery are the most frustrating, devastating flashes in the world. Give up the plug or give up sleeping for the night. That vaper will make damn sure you suffer tonight by twisting, turning, sighing and huffing all night long.
6 – “Yeah, but can I vape?”
Can they vape in your car? In your living room? In your parent’s living room? In the cinema? In the gig venue? In the bar? In bed? In the bath?
Vapers can vape anywhere because they aren’t smoking. So they’ll want to vape everywhere. You’ll hear this a lot when you first start dating a vaper. Believe it or not, we do have some respect. We do understand if you don’t want us to vape in your car even if we do think you’re being ridiculous about it.
7 – Foggy photos
Every photo will have an air of “mystery” around it. Nobody needs to know it’s actually your date’s vaporiser… AGAIN.
There will be clouds everywhere you go because you are dating a vaper. Just like when you date a smoker, there is always a fog of stinky smoke surrounding you. Vaping just doesn’t stink or cling to fabric, walls, EVERYTHING. Or dye it yellow for that matter!
Yeah, OK, so vapers can be a bit of a pain in the ass to date but do you want to know something? They aren’t quite as much of a pain in the ass as a smoker will be. A vaper won’t leave you in the bar / restaurant / cafe / cinema by yourself because they need to pop outside for a cigarette. A vaper won’t cough like a forty-year old at the age of twenty. A vaper won’t stink and neither will their car / clothes / home / hair.
There are a lot of benefits to dating a vaper. There are a lot of benefits of being a vaper too.
Aren’t you a little intrigued now?
If you’re a smoker and fancy giving vaping a shot, why not have a look around the website. You’ll find plenty of reviews of the best (and worst) e-cigs and vaporisers and if you have a look at the discount codes, you might even save a few quid too. And while you’re there, give the Facebook and Twitter pages a like! You can let me know which e-cigs you like. Or hate!