So … I find it quite ironic that I’m reviewing this lipstick-vape just a little while after I did that little piece for ecigclick on women in vaping. (You can find that here > Women that Vape – Are They Being Forgotten?)
And let me first start by telling you this review is going to be long. I have A LOT to say about this female-orientated vape, and it is not going to be good. You’ve probably already figured that out by the low star rating I gave it.
One thing that contributed to the super low star rating was the fact that the Lady Q by Artery conked out just as I was applying the finishing touches to the review. It’s all charged up. I know that because it flashes a bunch of times (green) to tell me that it’s all charged up. Does it work? No. It used to. I actually used it long enough to write a review on it, but just as I vaped with it one more time, just to see if there was any more info I felt should be added … Nothing. Nothing worked. It’s all charged up, flashes when it’s all charged up, but doesn’t actually turn on or work.
Excellent. I already hated it. Now I hate it even more.
Artery Lady Q Review
The Artery Lady Q was kindly given to me by the lovely The Devil Vaper, who I bumped into at the London Vape Show. You’ll find the links to find him at the bottom of this post.
Thanks so much, Devil Vaper! Much appreciated!
It’s called the Lady Q and not the Lady O, which is what I’d been calling it for a while. I’d need a different kind of review website entirely, with a name like Lady O. Moving on …
- It’s a “discreet and unique vaporiser designed with women in mind”
- Available in three colours – black, pink and red
- 1.5 ml tank capacity
- 1,000 mah battery capacity
- Suppressible atomiser
- 0.7-ohm coil (15 – 25 watts)
First impressions: Not much to write home about, let’s be honest. I’ve been using the Wismec Predator 228 with the Innokin Scion tank for a few weeks now, and that bad boy is offering me 70 watts to 100 watts with the 0.5-ohm coil. This is NOT a vaporiser to upgrade to. This is a beginner’s vaporiser. A beginner’s sub ohm vaporiser. It is marketed as small and discreet.
I should probably start with what I did like about it. That’ll be the shorter list …
What I Did Like
1 – It looks like a lipstick. That’s cool, right? It’s cute, I’ll give it that. It looks great next to my favourite YSL red lipstick.
2 – It’s red. I like red.
3 – It looks really cute in photographs, especially with makeup stuff. I mean, if there was a way for me to promote vaping to the females in the beauty blogging community, this would be the way to do it.
4 – It’s cute. Oh, I already said that, didn’t I?
5 – It charges up quite quickly. Within the hour, if I remember rightly.
That’s it. Literally, that’s all I like about it. And I’m a woman! A woman who loves mermaids, Disney, and all things pink and glittery, no less. So, if *I* don’t like it — Artery’s ACTUAL target audience — I wouldn’t imagine sales will be anything to write home about.
Right, now for the list of things I didn’t like about it.
What I Didn’t Like
Make yourself comfortable, ladies and gentlemen. Things are about to get ranty.
It shows off EVERY SINGLE FINGERPRINT.
It’s literally a fingerprint trap. It looks beautiful when you take it right out the box, but give it 15 minutes of use and it’ll look like you’ve had it 100 years. Because of the way it attracts fingerprints, it always looks a bit … bashed. It doesn’t look perfectly finished. Do you remember when I said I liked the way it looked? I meant right out of the box. I don’t own another vape that collects and shows off fingerprints quite like this damn thing.
*I’m well aware that aesthetics aren’t always that important, therefore, fingerprints aren’t that important, but this is a vaporiser that has very clearly been designed with aesthetics in mind. Therefore, the fingerprints ARE important. So there.
Oh lord, don’t get me started on the damn button. Look at the above pictures. Can you see a button anywhere? No? That’s because it’s not there. It’s on the bottom. This is not only the WORST button placement I’ve ever seen in my life, but it’s also not a button at all. I’ll get to that in a minute …
Unless you play this thing like a flute, vaping with it is hard work. I had to curl my little finger right under to try and hit the sensor or use two hands when I vaped with it.
WHAT IS THE POINT?!
Are you trying to be innovative, Artery? Like, I get it, but this doesn’t work. At all. Did you even try to vape with it? Has anyone ever tried to vape with it? It’s hard work, that’s all I’m saying. I’ve tried my fair share of weird and wonderful vaporisers over the years, the Neo Cig Shisha being one of my personal favourites, but nothing has been as awkward to vape as the Artery Lady Q.
Aside from the super awkward button placement, we have the issue of the button not being a button at all. It’s a heat sensor. You just need to touch it to make it go off. When you bear in mind that this heat sensitive button is at the bottom of the vaporiser, you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Please tell me why the TPD are cracking down on bottles of eliquid over 10 ml yet rather dangerous designs just like this one are allowed on the market? And, before you tell me it’s not dangerous, I burned my pinkie finger on it.
You can turn it off, of course, with 5 super fast taps on the heat sensitive area. That’s also how you turn it on. The only trouble with that is the heat sensor is set off with the warmth of a t-shirt on occasion, and I think the 5x tap feature is too. I’m assuming the t-shirt was flat against skin for the connection to have happened, but when I heard the little hissing and grabbed it to move it, it was really warm, gurgling, and I burned my finger. I don’t want to have to turn my vape off with the 5 quick taps every time I put it down for a moment on the couch or on my lap. Ain’t nobody got time for that. That’s all I did when the t-shirt set it off and I burned my finger. To be fair, it probably got sucked into one of my cake-induced fat-rolls … It’s warm and cosy in there. But there were times when I was certain I’d tapped 5 times to turn it off, and the thing still went off when I put my hand in the pocket of my jeans a couple of times.
The thing that doesn’t make sense to me is that they’ve moved the button so that it’s this weird heat sensor thing on the bottom of the vaporiser, but the USB charging hole is still on the side, right under the Artery logo. If you’re going to leave the unsightly USB hole on the side of the device, why didn’t you just leave the button there?
I’m assuming this vape would work well for someone, but it sure as hell ain’t me!
Charging it up …
I don’t actually understand what the deal is with charging this thing up. When it dies, the whole thing dies. The button doesn’t flash or anything like that. Not that I noticed anyway. I plugged it in (both via the mains socket and my laptop), and the heat sensor bit at the bottom flashes red and then stays red. Within a couple of minutes, it goes to green. Solid green, not flashing green. This is misleading. The solid green would lead you to believe it’s ready to use. It can’t be fully charged, however, as it’s only been plugged in for a few minutes. It also states in the user manual, “Do not use when product is plugged in.” and also, “During charging, atomizer will not work when button is pressed.”
However, I still don’t understand the green light business. Especially as the user manual says this:
“Charging status: The bottom red light lashes. When fully charged, the green light flashes 20 times and goes out.”
So … it goes from flashing red to solid red and then to solid green in the first ten minutes or so of being plugged in, and then it stays green until it’s fully charged, flashes green, and then goes out … right?
I’m so confused.
Not that it matters. It doesn’t work at all now, so I don’t need to charge it up!
Vaping with it …
The Artery Lady Q is a bit like the Aspire PockeX. It uses higher wattages than most MTL (mouth to lung) devices, and it’s got a lower coil ohm too. That means you use sub ohm liquid with it — higher VG liquid.
Despite using sub ohm liquid, it vaped better as a mouth to lung device, rather than direct to lung … which is the way I’m used to vaping with sub ohm liquid. It’s the Aspire PockeX debate all over again, and I’m getting tired of trying to work out how to vape with this stuff. Like, just tell me in the booklet or something. C’mon … At least try to make my life a little easier. Am I DTL vaping or MTL vaping?
Mouth to lung vaping (with the higher-VG, sub ohm liquid) seemed to work a lot better, but at the same time, I was getting barely anything out of it. When I MTL vape I do so with higher strength liquid than when I sub ohm vape or DTL. When I DTL vaped with it, however, the juice seemed really scratchy. I originally used a liquid I picked up at the London Vape Show – El Diablo’s Lime Cream Cupcake. I know the liquid doesn’t taste scratchy usually, because I tried it at the London Vape Show, and I’ve vaped with it again since, in a different device.
Sub ohm vaping with the Artery Lady Q is too scratchy in my throat and I don’t like it.
Mouth to lung vaping with the Artery Lady Q just didn’t give me enough of anything to use it as my regular vaporiser.
The tank gets really hot. I think I’ve broached that already, but repeated use does result in a warm tank. And we’re talking quite warm here too. Enough to leave a little burny mark on my pinkie finger after that one traumatic couch-t-shirt incident. It’s actually a really quiet vaporiser too, so you won’t always hear it when it’s going off in your pocket. That doesn’t help.
There’s an adjustable airflow. Did you know that? No, neither did I for the LONGEST time, because it doesn’t seem to say that anywhere in the booklet, on the box, or on the website. I had to work that one out for myself, and let me just say that it took a while. I’m apparently an idiot.
I don’t actually think opening the airflow made a tremendous amount of difference either, after all that faffing about trying to work out if it had one, and how to use it. Honestly, me and this vape really got it off to a bad start and then things went progressively downhill from there. I’m starting to resent it a little bit. It’s getting personal. Bitchy. That’s what this vape is. Hissy, burny and bitchy. Totally female.
(I’d apologise for stereotyping, but I’m basically this vape in human form.)
Battery … (etc.)
Why is it assumed that women would want less power than a man? Why does it only have that little 1000 mah battery? I want more power. GIVE ME A BIGGER BATTERY. I know Artery are trying to make a discreet little vape for women, but why is it assumed we (women) even want that? I don’t see anyone making vapes in the shape of spanners or wrenches, do you? Why have I gotta use this piddly little lipstick thing? Why couldn’t you have made me a bigger lipstick? Are you going to make a bigger version of it? With a regular sized tank and a regular sized battery? Because that’s what I’d want — the XL version of the damn lipstick. The version with all the power plus a bigger tank.
And while we’re on the subject of lipsticks … Seriously? A lipstick? Something that has already been covered by the adult toy industry? Come on … That’s a little unoriginal, isn’t it? How many more lipsticks are women expected to carry in their handbags?
Don’t even get me started on the piddly little tank, which you WILL be refilling after every 5 – 10 puffs. 1.5 ml? What is even the point? We’re all complaining about the TPD making our tanks smaller, so why would you go right ahead and make the tank even smaller still? I mean, I know you’re appealing to a niche market here — women who want a tiny, discreet vape — but I’m a woman … I’d rather have lost the lipstick look and gone for a bigger battery. Or changed the button placement and had a few more ml’s thrown in the tank. It’s so insulting. It would be like making a car for women that could only hold half the size of a regular tank, and that could only go 35 mph too. There would be UPROAR. Women wouldn’t stand for it. Why couldn’t they have made a bigger lipstick?!
Also: It’s a fiddly little bugger, with fiddly little holes. Good luck refilling it without spilling it everywhere.
Artery Lady Q Review – Conclusion
Honestly, it’s a gimmick. It’s gotta be. And a slightly insulting one at that. I don’t know what other female vapers want, but I want something that is reliable, has a decent battery and tank, is built well and does the job. I don’t feel the Lady Q offers these things. It’s not exactly what I would call easy to use. I mean, it’s simple enough, but it’s fiddly, and things aren’t entirely clear when you get everything out the box. Reliable? It goes off every five minutes in my pocket or on the couch, and that’s after I’ve tapped 5 times to turn it off too … So, no, probably not reliable either.
Also: I’ve owned this thing for a few weeks, used it for about a week, and it’s already conked out completely.
Decent battery and tank? Well, the 1,000 mah battery isn’t so bad, I suppose, but the Aspire PockeX offers a slightly larger 1,500 mah battery. And a larger 2 ml tank too. Even though that one leaked, I’d still rather use it over the Lady Q. At least the battery placement made sense. And it works.
I don’t actually think the Artery Lady Q is that well built either. I do like the fact that you can take the tank off and slot it back into the battery, but even then I haven’t actually found myself using it. And the button is still on the bottom — not covered by anything. It takes me right back to my original point of the Lady Q having a silly button placement. Not that it’s actually a button. But, that makes me slightly concerned about taking the tank off and slotting it into the battery / main frame. What happens if the device goes off when the tank is suppressed? A small, hot, confined space? Yeah, I’m not taking that chance. You can throw all the protection you like at this thing, I still don’t think it’s that safe.
And then, of course, we come to that massive problem … It doesn’t work. Ugh. I made it the entire way through the review. That’s about a week of vaping, for the record. And then it died, I plugged it in and charged it up, from empty right to full again, and the bugger wouldn’t turn back on again. Like, ever again. What is up with that? How much is this thing anyway?
Hahaha, I’ve seen this listed anywhere from $39.95 to $46.99. You’re kidding me, right?
Would I buy the Artery Lady Q again? Not a chance in hell. Not at that price anyway. I’d rather buy actual lipstick. At least my actual lipsticks work and won’t burn my finger.
Would I recommend the Artery Lady Q to you? If you’re a woman who wants a tiny, discreet vaporiser that looks like a lipstick, it’s for you. Or a man. I guess a man could like it too. But, yeah, if you want a vaporiser that looks like a lipstick, you’re on to a winner. I personally think it’s a novelty and that novelty soon wore off with me. In fact, I don’t even think that novelty was there to begin with. It’s been a long time since women were satisfied with something as simple as lipstick-themed anything. This seems so very … 1980’s.
I didn’t like it and then it didn’t work. I’m insulted and I would also be vapeless if this was my ONLY device. I’m giving it 1 star. And that’s only because I liked it in red.
Big thanks to The DevilVaper for throwing this my way. Sorry I didn’t like it …
You can find him here:
- TheDevilVaper on Twitter
- TheDevilVaper on Facebook
- TheDevilVaper on Youtube
- TheDevilVaper on Instagram
More info on the Lady Q at Artery Vapor.
- Buy the Artery Lady Q from e-cigshop (£26.99)
- Buy the Artery Lady from SvapoUK (£30)
- Buy the Artery Lady Q from ElegoMall ($39)
- Buy the Artery Lady Q from VaporBeast ($39.95)
*I have not used any of these websites.*
P.S. Did you notice the photo-faux-pas? If you look a little closer, you’ll see that Cosmopolitan magazine talks about £1,200 a night male escorts on the cover … Awkward. I left the images like that to see if anyone noticed! 🙂